Yes, the rumours are true. Yes, I am exactly like this in person. And no, I will not be toning it down for the comfort of the room.
Everything I have, I made with a straight back, good instincts, and a very good tailor.
The house rules
I
On arrivals
I do not enter a room. I happen to it.
Doors are a formality. By the time I am through one, the conversation has quietly changed its subject to me, and not a soul can tell you who started it.
II
On confidence
Arrogance is hoping you are the best. I stopped hoping years ago.
Call it cocky if it helps you sleep. I call it a long, faintly boring history of being right at the precise moment it counted.
III
On problems
Bring me the problem. It will not remain one for long.
I do not panic and I do not posture. I make things quietly disappear, the way a good man makes the bill vanish before you have reached for your wallet. Whatever is keeping you awake, hand it to me and go to sleep. It will be gone by morning, and I will make it look like nothing.
IV
On dressing
I am always overdressed. A small courtesy to rooms that did not earn it.
Linen when it is warm, cashmere when it turns, certainty all year round. The tailoring is borrowed taste. The confidence I had made to measure.
V
On standards
I do not have a type. I have a standard.
You will know the moment you meet it, because the room will go quiet and I will not. That is the only signal you are getting tonight. Do use it well.
VI
On noise
I never raise my voice. I let the silence do the bragging.
The loud ones are still introducing themselves at the door. I left an hour ago, and somehow I am still the only name anyone remembers in the morning.
Daddy
“
They call me daddy. I have never once corrected them.
And as for you
You did not find this by accident. You came to see whether the rumours hold up.
They do. I am worse in person, which is to say, considerably better.
Yours, eventually.
You were looking for a photograph
Naturally. But a man you can see is a man you can forget, and I am not in that business. Some things you earn the slow way. In person, over a very good drink.